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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 06:01
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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
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I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
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Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
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When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
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The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
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If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
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C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
I am putting my child on ritalin and i feel like a failure
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
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Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
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Black holes are where God divided by zero.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
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And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
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Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
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Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
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I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
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Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
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Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
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That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/15/(Sun) 08:57
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